During the exercise, I participated. It's a lot easier to participate than to sit still and quiet for ten minutes. The things that poured out of my pencil surprised me. I did the exercise twice during the course of two groups. Each time, my writing changed focus. I wrote things like:
"My ideal self is beautiful in her own eyes."
"She sings in the car, even when stopped near other cars."
"She knows how to let other people have their own problems"
"She calls just to say 'hello'."
"She is not afraid to contact the people she has fallen out of touch with."
"Sometimes, she sells crafts that she has made."
"She allows herself to be sensitive to others and to life."
"She is the kind of person you wish would call you."
"She lives in a small, two story house with an art room filled to the brim with very indie looking craft storage and paper products."
"She has a music room with a big window."
"Her kitchen is filled with mismatched dinnerware."
"She has weekly game nights with her friends where she makes salsa and other awesome snacks."
"She works out every other day and listens to audio books with her husband."
"She writes at least once a week."
"She plays the piano every day."
"She lives near a good park."
"Her life is whole on its own."
Following this exercise, I began to think about all the things that I am too busy to do. I'm too busy to hang out with my friends, especially during the school year when I have homework and a dirty house. I am too busy to write. I lost some really great lines to business. I definitely haven't touched the piano for longer than I'd like to admit. I don't have the space to do the paper crafts that I want to. I don't really talk on the phone. I bail on a lot of invitations because I'm tired.
I don't want to not do any of those things. I want to be present in my life and living it fully. I want to wake up and find my whole world populated with creativity and laughter. And good food.
So, I've made a mid-year resolution 1) to hang out with people more often. I get so busy that I forget that I am actually the free agent in my life and can make the choice to spend my time how I please. So, let's get together within the next two weeks. Even if it's for an hour or two over coffee. 2) to create something at least once a week. This can be a poem, a paper craft project, a painting, a song, an idea, whatever. Anything that uses brain juice and makes me feel different from the next person. 3) to cook meals on the nights when I'm home. Michael loves my cooking and I am finding that I really like the whole process of planning meals and shopping for them. I like the feeling of putting food away in my kitchen. I love the color of food. and 4) to keep my space organized enough to not waste time on cleaning. I should have my space tidy enough that a major clean only takes a few hours and a minor one takes about a half hour. I only have 600 square feet. I should be able to handle that. It makes me feel so much better to have a clean house, too. It gives me more time with Michael where I'm not stressed out about the dishes or whatever.
Along with these resolutions, I am making a pretty big commitment to myself. I am going to start making crafts and selling them. I don't know if that means I will sell them online on an etsy-like engine or whether I will make time to do craft fairs and farmer's markets, but it will happen. I've got a lot to learn, but I have some natural ability with placement and color. I love paper and patterns. I love how warm they can feel. Abundant.
Here are some things I have made previously out of old book covers.
They're just things to look at, but I've got so many ideas of things to do that people would actually want. Things that I would buy if I could find them. So, in the semi-near future I will be figuring out how to make this happen. The first step is organization. I'm working on that. All the other steps will feel like running.
I am so excited.
