When I'm explaining this idea to clients, I usually use the analogy of having a broken bone. The initial break is painful, debilitating. The person will protect the broken area, preventing others from touching it or from putting any weight on it. It may be extremely painful to have the broken bone set. Even the idea of moving the bones around under the skin, repositioning it, can be terrifying. So, someone might not want the bone to be set. But...
If the bone is not set, it will heal incorrectly.
I think that I've had some things heal incorrectly due to neglect, due to not wanting to do the work necessary to grow and move forward with my life. Now, I'm dealing with the painful, but productive process of re-breaking the bones, setting them in their proper place, so that I can grow.
I can also compare it to having a wound. Although covering up the wound seems like the best way to help it heal, in reality, the wound needs some sunlight and fresh air in order to clear out infection and puss. If it is kept covered, secret, it will fester. In general, although the wound may be disgusting and putrid, the only way to let it heal is to keep it cleared out and open.
It's counter-intuitive, I know.
But, that's the truth. So, that's kind of where I am right now. It's a vulnerable place to be, but it's a stronger, healthier place as well. I really believe that. Luckily, I've got the most supportive friends and family around me. They don't care if I occasionally appear fairly broken or sick. They know that sometimes things that look really painful or unwell are actually just growing.
I was once told that "secrets keep us sick". So, maybe you've got some stuff that you're hiding because it's ugly. I'm not saying to let everyone see it, or to trust everyone to support you while you're re-breaking those bones on the road to personal growth, but maybe hiding isn't the answer either. Find your balance and what works for you, but just consider some alternatives.
Ok! That's all. Here's a cute picture of CC, who thinks she is hiding. She's not doing a very good job at it! We usually aren't, either.
