Tuesday, July 19, 2011

If you love something, let it go...

What is the difference between something you've lost and something you've given away? Well, one seems much more involuntary than the other. But, I suppose in more serious matters, the difference is slight and often bittersweet. I've been thinking a lot about my last wedding with this one looming so close. This wedding is much more exciting than I remember the first one being, but it has also been four years. It's possible (likely) that my memory isn't crystal clear.

What's so interesting to me is that there are a lot of people in my life that are uncomfortable talking about my first husband, my first wedding, my first marriage. They will dismiss it saying that it wasn't a marriage under God or some variation on that theme. I usually smile and nod, but inside I want to correct them.

It was the real thing.
I believed I was going to be with him forever.
I meant everything I said at that alter.
My vows are the biggest promise I have ever broken.

For a while, the idea that a promise that big could be broken (by myself as well as another person) made me not want to have another wedding. I was semi-comfortable with another marriage because it makes people more comfortable when you are married to the person you are living with, but a public ceremony where I make another promise in front of a crowd of people who have heard me say the words before? Yuck.

A little known fact: The only reason I agreed to have a wedding (although I am very excited about it and glad I agreed) was so that Mike could experience that event with his family. It was important to him so I obliged.

Now that the wedding is almost here and all the work I've been doing has come together, I am way excited and so happy that I get to share this event with my family and friends. I'm happy about having a wedding and I'm really happy to start a life with Michael.

It will be the real thing.
I believe I'm going to be with him forever.
I will mean everything I say at the alter.
My vows will be the biggest promise I ever make.


A part of me wonders where my ex is and how he is doing. My mom has bumped into him, but they did not speak. I saw his mom at the grocery store about a year ago and avoided her. I never spoke to any member of his family after he moved out, never said goodbye. I think he got married and had a baby, but I don't know if they kept it. I only creep his Facebook page about once a year (honestly). I can only assume he is doing well.

I know I am. I have never been happier. I am seriously stressed with wedding details, work issues, and all the things life throws at me, but I am very happy. Mike is the best thing that has ever happened to me and he happens to me every day. I've had a lot of people tell me that they have never seen two people so right for each other. Trust me, people, I know.

I really know.

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